Roronoa Zoro (sanjuu_kenkaku) wrote in the_going_merry,
Roronoa Zoro


All right... an absolutely nonsensical crack!RP from the other night. Seriously, I don't even know if I should encourage anyone to read this.

A few inside jokes of note:

The 'IT'S BLUENO!' stems from an ongoing silly gag where Blueno has his own show. And a chorus of children screams his name when he steps through a magic door. Also, the only thing I can say in a remotely Blueno voice is 'Tekkai', so that's why this is all he says.

Fullbody and Nami were married in a dream I had a long while ago.

Nami is the mayor of Rice City. She and Iceburg had an argument about this a bit ago, and apparently Iceburg isn't the mayor of /every/ town.

This started off as OOC rambling, so I kept some of it intact... I cleaned it up the best I could, but it still doesn't make much sense. *sweatdrop* Have fun.

Sanji: You're way influencing the things I do... I Spandam-ed my popcorn onto the counter- and then I ate it.

Zoro: Like a dog.

Sanji: *incredulous* I didn't PUKE it!!!

Nami: -sweatdrops-

Nami: You guys like Harry Potter, right? >_>

Zoro: Oh, yesh, we luff Harry Potter an' his magical powers. *nodnodnod*

Sanji: That's a yes.


Nami: Ha. >_>

Nami: This is interesting.

Zoro: "Professor, Potter's not letting me represent for the dark side!"

Zoro: Hahaha.

Nami: Haha. ^__^

Nami: Whoever made that is very clever.

Nami: ..and has lots of time on their hands.

Zoro: Yeah..

Nami: We were discussing who everyone would be if the OP characters cosplayed them...

Nami: And..Luffy would be Harry, Sanji would be Draco, Nami would be Ron, Chopper would be...Crookshanks...>_> and..Zoro would be Hermione. Just because.

Sanji: Hahah... so Zoro's the smart ass...?

Nami: Go figure.

Zoro: I'd have said Nami would be Hermione. And not just because they're girls. They're similar. Ron's an idiot.

Nami: Pah.

Nami: Wow. I've never said that before. o_o

Zoro: You stole my noise...

Nami: I didn't mean to! It just...came out.

Nami: -gawks at self-

Zormione: I'll never forgive you, Ronami! *flips hair and leaves in a huff... doesn't talk to you for several chapters*

Zormione: *is British*

Sanji: Yeah, you'd have to be Hermione, because if you were Ron you'd be like... Zoron. And that's just silly.

Nami: Haha. You're a Zoron.

Nami: Wow...that was lame. >_>

Zoro: Sanji thought it was funny.

Zoro: He laughed so hard, he puked and then ate it.

Nami: -dies-

Nami: You killed me with funny. ._. Because it was funny..and disgusting.

Nami: All in one.

Zoro: Sanji is so vehemently denying this. He is just shrieking 'THAT'S NOT TRUE!' at the computer screen.

Nami: -sweatdrops-

Nami: I don't believe him....-shrugs a shoulder-

Zoro: It was a lot of puke too. *looks at Sanji* Youze nasty.

Sanji: You're a jackass.

Zoro: At least I don't eat my own vomit.

*ba doom schinn!*


Nami: Really?...Then what did I hear?...

Nami: -horrified-

Zoro: I think he's saying you're stupid, Nami.

Sanji: I did not! *looks at Zoro* You're a dirty liar!

Nami: -whimpers- Oh Sanji-kun...

Nami: ...That hurts.

Nami: -slams fist to chest- Right here!

Nami: -falls to ground and scream!cries-

Zoro: It's all right, baby... *hugs Nami to chest* Zoro's here. *is dashing*

Luffy: Wow Zoro. -rubs back of neck-....I'm surprised you could tell.

Nami: -stops; makes awkward face- He's not /that/ stupid....-looks to the side-.....

Zoro: *cough* ... Hey.. my arms're getting tired. Blueno- take over.

Blueno: *steps out of door*


Blueno: Tekkai. *hugs Nami*

Zoro: Phew... *puts ice on sore arms..*

Nami: -grins- Oh Blueno! What a great hugger you are! -giggles- Thank you for having me on your show. -looks out to audience and messes with her hair a bit-

Blueno: Tekkai.. *nods.. waves to audience*

Fullbody: *comes running down the steps in the audience* Nami! You have to CALL when you're going to be on television with Blueno, and not home makin' me a SAMMICH!

Fullbody: *throws a chair at Blueno*

Nami: -full body twitch- (pun intended)

Nami: Honey....-looks around nervously- What did I tell you about talking to me in public?...

Fullbody: Uhm.. not to? *scratches temple*

Jango: I'm here! Let's do this.

Fullbody and Jango: *breakdance!fight Blueno*

Zoro: They're breakdance fighting. *points*

Blueno: *escapes through a door... hides in green swirly space* Heehee. Shh. *index finger to lips*


Nami: -looks around- There's an audience right there...-points- Are they so invaluable?...Well I love you all! Especially when you throw money at the lovely guest stars! -grins- ...-someone throws a shoe and hits her on the head-

Nami: Dammit! I'll fucking kill whoever did that! Was it you!? It fucking was! Get yo' ass over here!

Luffy: -holds her back-

Hina: Hina... guilty. *stands and puts gloves on* Let's do this.

Nami: Ah..-stares- Did...I say kill? -laughs nervously- I meant....

Luffy: Kiss!

Nami: -nods vigorously- Yeah! Ki- -looks over at Luffy- No!

Luffy: -stupid grin-

Zoro and Sanji: That's hawt.

Nami: -Death!glare-

Hina: *slaps iron cages over Zoro and Sanji's mouths*

Bon Clay: He is the father of my baby. *points at Usopp*

Usopp: I am not.

Bon Clay: Quit joking around! You are too! *puts baby down* Go to papa!

Little Buggy: Chaaaaa!! This is flashily not cool! Who are you? Where's the rest of me?!

Bon Clay: In the trunk of my car. *big smile*

Little Buggy: *squeeeeak*

Usopp: *wavewave* Oi oi.. that's an ugly baby...

Nami: Then it /must/ be yours...

Little Buggy: WHO'S GOT A BIG NOSE?!

Usopp: *sharp teeth* No one said anything that even SOUNDED like that!

Nami: He /nose/. he just likes to bring it up...

Zoro and Sanji: *in a pile on the ground- have suffocated*

Little Buggy: ... why didn't they just breathe out of their noses? *eyebrow twitch* WHAT ABOUT NOSES?

Usopp: I like you. *puts Little Buggy in purse*

Nami: Don't kill your 'child'! -looks over to dead Zoro and Sanji- You know?...I haven't fed my pet today....-gets cute expression, and begins speaking in a baby voice- Come here. Come here little Wapol. Come on. Come on. Who's a good boy?

Wapol: -runs out on hands and knees-

Nami: Dinner...-points to them-....

Sanji: Too bad I suffocated.

Zoro: Yeah.

Sanji: Haha, you too.

Wapol: -waddles over to them-

Wapol: -quickly devours them-

Usopp: Wow, what happens now?


Usopp: *sharp teeth* It's a bag!!

Fullbody: Wow, I like your purse... *looks inside* And it's got Buggy in it.

Jango: *moonwalks over* Wow..

Luffy: Sanji tastes like smoke. And Zoro is too meaty. He'd be too hard to chew...-ponders this-

Luffy: Sugeeeee!

Usopp: You've considered eating them, then?!

Little Buggy: OHMIGOD!

Usopp: Shh. *closes bag*

Luffy: I can't eat them...they were already eaten....-frowns- But I'm huuungryyy...

Nami: -finds Blueno- Oi, teme...-arches an eyebrow-

Blueno: *hands over his eyes* .... *looks through fingers* Tekkai?

Nami: -lump grown where shoe hit her- ....Well...-grins; giggles- Tag!~ You're it! -gently taps him and skips off-

Luffy: Eh? -blinkblink- Suuugeeee! Tag! -runs around in circles-

SanZoro: *is spit out by Wapol- speak in echoes* Wait, weren't we dead? Weren't I dead? Who? *punch themselves*

Franky: *is there*

Nami: Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. -points at name- That's silly. Your name is Zosan.

Nami: -hugs Franky-

SanZoro: Why should that marimo bastard be first? I'm on top. *points... Sanji's head is above Zoro's... Zoro head rolls eyes* That is lame.

Franky: ^__^ Yay! Hey, Nami, wanna be a cyborg?

Nami: I used to be. -tilts head-...

Franky: *sits down for storytime- big eyes* Really? Suge. *makes popcorn in chest microwave*

Franky: *looks down at chest* ..this'll take about.. three minutes... *twiddles thumbs*

Nami: I can wait. -sways-...

Franky: *sways too* Good. Because I need that time for microwaving. *pause* Popcorn. *pop! poppop!* All right.

Little Buggy: Do I smell popcorn?!

Usopp: *punches bag* Shut UP, Buggy. *put-upon* Gawd.

Nami: -glances over at the others; counts them- You better keep this a secret...or the popcorn wont last more than three seconds...

SanZoro: *try to walk in opposite directions... walk in a circle and tip over* You suck! Who sucks? You do. I hate you. I hate you back- why I oughtta! *flail*

Franky: Let's use Blueno's door and hide in green swirly space. *sneaks off with Nami and popcorn*

Popcorn: Heehee.

Nami: Heehee.

Franky: Heehee.

Franky: *heaves Blueno out!*


Franky: He looked like he'd eat a lot of popcorn. *looks at Nami* Too much popcorn.

Nami: Mmhm. -nods-

Franky!Microwave: Bing!

Franky: *opens fridge tummy* Soda?

Nami: You don't have any alcohol? -arches an's okay. Snuck this off of Zoro last night....-pulls out bottle of rum- I'll think about that soda offer later. -nods-

Franky: *arms in air* Rum and soda!

Franky: Chotto... *opens microwave* ...hmm. No bowls... *pours popcorn on floor*

Popcorn: Ow..

Nami: -picks up a piece- Aw..Are you okay?...

Popcorn: Yeah, I think so- AH! OHMIGOD! OWWW!

Franky: *eating a handful* ..what?

Nami: -shrugs- I'unno. -eats the piece; pauses- Oh wait...did you say ow?..

Nami: Did you make magical popcorn, Franky?...What did I tell you about that?

Franky: ...well, the normal popcorn was /right/ next to the magical popcorn... *rubs back of neck* An honest mistake... *looks sheepish*

Nami: -irritated sigh- /All right/...I forgive you..../this/ time.

Nami: Next time you won't be so lucky..-points to junkyard-

Franky: *gasp* That's /mean/.

Franky: *eats magical popcorn*

Franky: *can now shoot lazers from eyes!!!*

Franky: SUGE!

Nami: o__o

Franky: Wait... I could do that before..

Nami: -stares at holes in swirly space- But it was safer when you didn't know you knew.

SanZoro: *wandering through crowd of screaming children* Wait! Wait! We just want direction to the closest Big & Tall & Spliced store!! We need new pants!

Franky: *munch munch* Pants /suck/.

Nami: They do?...Since when? I have /even less/ of a chance of getting any.....-dies-

Luffy: Popcorn!

Franky: Wow, she died. *eyes wide* I'ma make her into a robot pony. *takes out tool box*

Nami: -dies far away from Franky-

Franky: Aw. *shoulders slump...looks at the floor* She died way too far away. I'd have to stand up.

Franky: *shares popcorn with Luffy*

Luffy:*takes it all* Thank you.

Bon Clay: Someone stole my baby... *on the phone with the POLICE*

Smoker: *on the other line* Aren't you that gay guy? You have NO BABIES! Stop CALLING! *hangs up*

Smoker: *has two cookies at once* Lucky..

Luffy: -Sees that there is butter on franky's hand and starts eating franky- Mmmmmmmmmm.

Franky: Yo.

Luffy:-breaks teeth- uhhuhuhuhhohoooo

Franky: *is displeased* chewed off some arm hair... dude...

Chopper man: -walks of out closet- Phew...that Namifia is /something/....-looks around- Eh?...Hi everyone!

SanZoro: Oh man, Chopperman is cute. He is not. Is too. He's cuter than you are. So? So what? *tip over*

Luffy: -pulles on longhair out of his only two non broken teeth-

Franky: I don't want it /back/.

Franky: Keep it. It's made of gold.

Iceburg: Nma... that's a filthy lie, Franky.

Franky: Tch. You wish. *pets golden armhair* ...

Nami: -revives- Gold?

Franky: Yeah! Come over her and I won't make you a robot pony!

Iceburg: *shakes head* He's lying.

Franky: *looks admiringly at arms* Wow... my armhair is /so gold/...

Nami: -frowns-....Gold...or becoming a pony....-considers-

Iceburg: *is a robot pony* It's not as much fun as you'd think...

Nami: Ah...all right...

Nami: Listen's been great but...I really need to get back to Rice City...

Iceburg: *canters after Nami* Can I come and help you mayor?

Nami: -glares at Fullbody...wherever he is- And leave me alone jackass...we're not married...-walks away, turns toward Iceburg- ...I /dunno/...there's a lot of work involved...

Nami: Like deciding what to wear...what to eat and drink...where to shop many bubbles you want in your bath...

Franky: That's the best robot pony yet. *gives self a /silver/ star sticker*

Iceburg: Twenty bubbles. Or thirty. Ne-heheheh... *tosses pony mane*

Nami: Ponies can't take baths, silly.

Iceburg: Especially not robot ponies... *cries*

Franky: *destroys Iceburg!pony with hammer* I'm gonna use this scrap metal to make a fort...

Franky: Luffy, get some couch cushions and a biiiig blanket!

Nami: Let's make a club house! Luffy: -comes back with some couch cushions and a biiiig blanket- Now what? -grins-

Luffy: No girls allowed.

Nami: Aw fuck...

Hina: Hina... forgotten... *sits in corner... cherry blossoms swirl*

Franky: *looks at Nami* No girls allowed? I can fix that for you.

Franky: 'mere. *gestures with wrench*

Nami: Well....

SanZoro: *having tea* ...

Nami: I /would/ get more....-panic!-...Yes!!

Nami: -passes out-

Luffy: Yay! a rug!

Franky: *makes Nami a robot pony* Sucker.

Luffy: -drags Nami into the would-be-clubhouse-

Luffy: Awww..I wanted a rug. You're not as cool as I thought Franky..

Franky: Tch. /This/ robot pony doubles as a rug. *gives self a /gold/ star sticker*

'Robin': -walks up- Hey Robin. -leans on Luffy- I'm tired of dressing up...-pulls of wig and is magically Nami- 'Luffy': Well, it was fun for a little while. -also pulls off wig, as well as the hat- I quite enjoyed was interesting acting as if I were someone else.

Nami: I guess so...-shrugs- I read a lot...

Nami: Uh oh...Zoro's a pony. ._.

Zoro: What?

Sanji: *points* Hahaha.

Franky: I didn't do that.

Zoro: *is also a pegasus* Okay, that's cool.

Nami: I /told/ him he'd suck at being me. -rolls eyes-

Hina: Hina... detonates. *explodes and kills EVERYONE*

Everyone: -dies-

Nami: Aw...poor everyone. He didn't deserve that...

Franky: He did too. That guy was a prick.

Zoro: Hey, guys, look... *flies a little*

Nami and Robin: -stare at each other; smirk; flirt!stare; nod; walk off to their room-

Sanji: Haaaaaaawwwww!!! *points wildly... dies of blood loss*

Luffy: -pulls off Chopperman costume- Aw...guuuuys! You stopped!

Usopp: Wow, Sanji died in a barnfire.

Zoro: No he didn't... *sails majestically over Usopp's head* You liar.

Luffy: Niku!!! -rips off Zoro's wings-

Luffy: -munch munch munch-

Zoro: Ah, OHMIGOD! *crashes into a building and explodes*

Sanji: What a tiny building.

Usopp: You died in a barnfire!

Sanji: So I did. *nods, lighting cigarette* So I did.

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